How to move on in life.


Some people have importance written all over them, others feel the need to flash it about, but there is another way to get to where you want to be in life.


The centre of my universe (other universes are available).


It is an undeniable fact that I am the centre of my universe. Not THE universe, but MY universe. Everything I know, and everything I can relate to about this jolly old cosmos of ours is centered between my ears. The same goes for you. You are the centre of your universe, and so it goes with all of us. Some people, however, like to think that they are the centre of everything, and wish to be treated accordingly.

The secret revealed - How to move forward in life by getting a green light.


A very important person?


Take Captain Dullhard; for example. He is an all too familiar character that we all encounter on the roads, and he feels that he is very important indeed. And he is not alone.

With so many Captain Dullhards on the road, it is difficult to guess the reason for a particular journey. Maybe, the important mission is to get to the 24-hour drive-thru burger joint before it closes, but whatever the reason, this driver needs to get there quickly.

Having set off from home at a speed of which Lewis Hamilton would be proud, The Captain soon finds himself stopped at traffic lights. He flashes his headlights.

Flash flash.

Nothing happens, so he tries again, this time giving it the full Pink Floyd light show treatment.

Flash flash flash.

He waits.

The lights change, and he speeds off confident in the knowledge that he has made the lights change against their will.


Blue lights mean go.


It has long been suggested that traffic lights can be forced to respond to requests from people in a hurry. In this context, people in a hurry, refers to the emergency services, and it has to be said that anyone trying to save the life of someone having a heart attack, or wanting to get to the scene of a fire should be spared the inconvenience of having to wait at the lights. These people are rightly justified in thinking that their journey through our streets is slightly more important than that of The Captain racing to pick up his bird.

Necessity dictates that emergency vehicles have their name printed on them so that we know they are important. It is even printed backwards so that those drivers incapable of reading a situation can at least read it in the mirror.

Let’s face it, most of us realise that if you have something in your rear view mirror that is brightly coloured, has flashing lights, and is playing a tune loud enough to wake the dead, the chances are it’s not an ice cream van. But, some road users just need things spelled out for them. Hence the writing on the ecnalubma.


We all move on together.


Apparently, backwards writing has little effect on traffic lights, but blue flashing lights are said to trigger them to change to green. Captain Dullhard has latched on to this feature and believes the main-beam of his car can also be used as a signal of importance. But, if this is so, surely every car on the road can change the lights whenever any driver wants. What would be the point of that? Roads would be ablaze with flashing headlights coming from all directions and traffic lights would be pointless because every driver will be trying to trigger their set of lights to turn green. They can’t all be green, that would make the roads as dangerous as not having lights at all, which is why we have lights in the first place.


The secret revealed – How to move forward in life by getting a green light.


But, there is a secret solution.

It might sound strange, but if you think you are more important than anyone else on the road, here is a sure fire method of getting traffic lights to change to green.

The next time you are stopped at a red light, start chanting the word ‘banana’ over and over.

Banana, banana, banana…

I can categorically guarantee, that as long as the traffic lights are not faulty they will turn green.

So, the next time life gets in the way and holds you up, try the banana chant. It might just help you to get to where you want to go.

It might even work in other aspects of your life. Give it a try and let me know how you get on in the comments below.